Gratitude, Wellness, and Growth during the Holidays! Insights and Strategies for Sobriety

Happy Holidays! This episode is particularly close to my heart as we explore navigating the festive season with mindfulness and sobriety. I dive into the intricacies of holiday celebrations, offering tips and heartfelt advice to those in recovery. From expressing genuine gratitude to choosing the right company, this conversation is aimed at ensuring that your holiday spirit is as bright and healthy as the lights adorning the streets.

The journey to self-improvement is often marred with challenges, and today I share a blueprint for overcoming bad habits that's been tempered by my own experiences. Anecdotes from my recent forays into philosophy, writing, and even leisurely strategy games paint a picture of the diverse ways we can enrich our lives post-addiction. 

So, as we wrap up this year, let's cherish the moments of love, practice gratitude, and stride into the holiday season with a commitment to our healthiest selves!

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:06

Welcome back to another episode of Feel Free, the only podcast that'll tell you to chase your dreams and call you out on all your bullshit, myself included. Special holiday episode. So happy holidays to everybody who's listening to. This Should be a fun and much needed weekend after the year we've all had. So this episode is a solo episode. I will be running it by myself no guest this week.

Speaker 1: 0:32

However, in a few weeks I do have a returning guest coming by to talk about some changes in their life, some good changes. My buddy, sam, will be back on to talk about some of the improvements he's made in his life. For now, we're going to be talking mostly about the holidays. We're going to be talking about habits and recovery, wellness all that good stuff. Maybe a few updates on what's going on in my life. So, yeah, without further ado, let's get into the episode a little bit. Actually typed out an outline and, yeah, I read it a little bit before. First thing I would like to say is I am engaged, so big congratulations to Lisa and I. So, yeah, I got down on one knee while we were up at my family's cottage, so it was a really magical moment and I'm excited to spend the rest of my life with the person I love. So I just wanted to throw out, obviously, a congratulations and a little shout out to the woman I love, who's been a integral part of my wellness and who I am right now always cheering me on, and I wouldn't be here, and I wouldn't be doing this podcast, honestly, if it wasn't for her cheering me on. So just wanted to say I love her and thank you, lisa. Hopefully you hear this.

Speaker 1: 1:58

Number two I wanted to talk about recovery and wellness during the holidays. Now, the first thing I really wanted to mention is this isn't technically a recovery podcast, although I do have people come on to talk about their time in recovery, working with addiction and using those stories in order to inspire people. But, with that being said, it is not a recovery or even just a flat out mental health podcast. It's more of a general wellness podcast. But I still like to use my experience with recovery to relate to everybody out there, even people who aren't addicts or people who just want to be healthier and I was just guest speaking on a podcast. I want to throw out Steve and Julie over through the glass recovery and thank them for having me on to talk about recovery and addiction. It was awesome and it kind of inspired me to do a little segment about the holidays right now, because the holidays are tough for everybody and that's not just addicts. But I wanted to give a little love to the people in recovery who are like me and talk about a few things about the holidays that can get stressful for everybody. It is a time to spend with family and loved ones, a time off of work. A lot of good things happen in this holiday season and I wish I did an episode back in Thanksgiving to start the holiday season, but we're just going to do this one right now, kind of all encompassing.

Speaker 1: 3:24

One of the things I found difficult and I know that some people still today find difficult with the holidays in recovery is the overindulging of this country and the holidays come around and it gives people an excuse to eat and drink and smoke and give thanks and gifts and all of this stuff, and it's a very tough time for people in recovery because you feel like you can't really go out. You just want to accidentally run into a trigger and I understand that completely. So the loneliness factor is really tough during the holiday season. I understand that. Finding a group to share those moments with, I know. Last month I was fortunate enough to go to a group meeting of sober souls during Thanksgiving. We played some board games and just chatted and hung out. It's really nice to be revitalized around sober people. So if you are feeling lonely, go on Facebook, even search in NA or AA. There are resources out there. If you are feeling lonely, you don't want to be triggered, but you still want to be around very positive people and live a healthy and sober life, there are the resources for you. Don't hold up. You don't need to do that. It's all about really a change perspective.

Speaker 1: 4:48

One of the things we talked about on the podcast I spoke on is recovery, is this journey, and it's not only about being sober. It's all about healing. It's about finding who you are and all these really beautiful and good things. I think in order to do that, you need to be surrounded by amazing people too. I've talked about that multiple times on this podcast. Doing what you can to find some more sober people during the holiday season is definitely recommended. Switching that up.

Speaker 1: 5:14

I know that, like we've said, the holiday season can be a beautiful time. It can be a stressful time. I would like to mention that when you are in recovery, you are able to change your perspective. Now, for me, I don't totally view it as you know pain and suffering anymore. I look forward to the holidays. Specifically, I look forward to getting a couple days off of work, seeing some people that you know I haven't seen in a while, eating some good food and giving thanks and all that stuff.

Speaker 1: 5:43

So it is tough, being around the friends and the family who do use and bringing up memories and stuff like that. But just taking a step back and taking it all in, you know it is. It's tough, I understand, you know, and I had a few people actually comment on the videos that I had posted when I was saying about being relentless and trying to figure out your bad habits and stuff. And I do try and keep things simple because when you keep things simple it allows for the other person who's engaged in listening to put their own twist on it, to put it into words that they, you know, vibe with the most.

Speaker 1: 6:22

So when I say, take a step back during the holiday season, just understand like there are things to be grateful for and, first and foremost, be grateful for your sobriety if you're struggling with recovery. If you're lonely, be grateful for the people that you do have in your life. Reach out to them, go find new people. You know that, like I said, there's so many ways to get involved with a community online and in person so don't don't hold up in your room. You know I've done it before. You know, even in the first year or two of recovery, and even not even the holidays, just recovery in general, I was pretty, and actually, now that I'm saying this, the last like couple of years of my addiction, I definitely hold up, you know, and I cut myself off from the world in an attempt to punish myself for making mistakes, of how I treated myself and other people. And I understand now that everybody deserves forgiveness and you need to forgive yourself in order to enjoy the present moment. So, and what better time to do that than one of the times around the entire world that everyone is a little happier than than usually for the most part? I'm not saying everybody's happy, don't generalize my statements like that, but you get what I'm saying. So try and change your perspective about the holidays. Don't always think about the bad memories of where you came from. Instead, be proud of who you are right now and share who you are right now with the people who love and care about you, because that's kind of the most beautiful thing in life.

Speaker 1: 7:52

I've noticed that in the last couple of episodes talked about connections with people. I've had Aiden and Brandon on here and we've talked about being surrounded with people that inspire you, or people, people that love you. You know, like you know we, I don't, we really are nothing without the people around us. You know, for people like oh, I'm an introvert, like yeah, I get you're an introvert, but you know no one's like so solo dolo, that they're okay, like that we need, we need people, you know, in our lives. What's the point, then? It's not always about our hobbies or our job and shit Like this is the time of the year to you know. Be around the people you love and people you don't even love yet, or try and find some people that you do love. You know, try and love yourself a little bit more. You know, sorry, I could be rambling on, but that's all fine and dandy, let's see what else I got here. Shit during the holiday season. So, taking a little segue away from the recovery aspect, but this could apply to the recovery aspect too.

Speaker 1: 8:55

Wellness, diet and exercise are super important and I've seen a lot of people give up on their healthy routines during the holiday season and it is very easy to. It's very easy to do that. I totally understand. Right now, this is almost trial and error. I've done really well.

Speaker 1: 9:14

This is probably the first holiday season that I've stayed consistent with my working out and my dieting. You know, thanksgiving aside, you can eat some sweets here and there. I believe for the weekend that, for Lisa's birthday weekend that we went up to the cottage up north when I proposed you know I was eating some, some sweets and stuff, but more or less like 80 to 85% of the time, I've really been strict with my diet and my workout routine in this month leading up to Christmas, which has allowed me to understand that come Christmas day, I'm I'm be eating some, some motherfucking sweets. I'll tell you what I'm gonna eat some ice cream and some cookies and shit like that. You know, cause I've been working hard, you know.

Speaker 1: 9:51

But outside of this being a podcast, I feel like it's almost just like a vlog too, to keep you interested in my day to day struggles and shit like that. So I will be keeping people updated on how well I do with this holiday season and the, the wellness and the eating stuff, which is what brought me to this point and finding people that are gonna hold you accountable to those goals the wellness and the diet and the exercise is super important and I think, understanding that I don't fully believe that anymore, I don't fully believe anymore that the holiday season is is an excuse to give up on taking care of yourself in terms of what you eat and your exercise and stuff. I understand it's hectic, you know, entertaining friends and family for more days and weekends than you normally do. It's tough, I'm not gonna deny that. But if you change the perspective and the way that you make excuses for yourself, then you can hold yourself accountable a little bit better. You know, and you might work out a little bit less, you know, than you normally did in the weeks leading up to, and maybe you eat a little more shitty than you know you had planned. But just keep an eye on it.

Speaker 1: 11:10

The week in between Christmas and New Year's and the week after New Year's, just just do it up. Do you be healthy? You know, understand that it's. It's super important. There's 365 days in the year.

Speaker 1: 11:22

I don't really think that we can afford to not look at ourselves and be happy, healthy and authentic, and and and and say no to that. So there's off days. I've had off days. I've had it off a couple of weeks. I'll be honest with you. But I told myself I got to sit down and do this podcast because there's some motherfuckers out there that want to hear what I got to say.

Speaker 1: 11:42

You know, in the holiday season's coming up. So, yeah, sometimes you just don't feel like taking care of yourself. I understand that and it fucking sucks Finding a little blip, a little moment or second during the day that you could possibly turn it around and be revitalized and be happy in the moment. Just take that. Don't always take a shitty situation and run with it all day. You know not definitely tangent, you know off topic, but that's beside the point. There are a lot of good, there are a lot of things to be grateful for in this life we have and I don't know everybody's situation, but I do know that life isn't so absolutely fucking miserable 100% of the time, all the time that we can't find something to smile about or laugh about, and if there is somebody on this planet who is going through a moment in life where 100% of the time that it is shitty, then fucking reach out to me and I'll see if I can cheer you up or we can share our pain together, you know, because nobody deserves to be alone, especially during the holidays, you know.

Speaker 1: 12:53

So I hope those tips helped kind of with the holiday season that's coming up, which kind of segued into me talking about habits in general, and I actually wrote down five steps that I thought would help people with being relentless in trying to fix their bad habits. Because of somebody making a comment on YouTube saying that I oversimplified things and that it doesn't work like that, and I mean, if you're gonna take 10 seconds of what I've said on an entire podcast and not go and listen to the episode to see what I actually talked about before and after that, and now I'm starting to learn about what really is the internet and why it is just as dangerous as I've always made it out to be in all these episodes. But so after hearing that or dealing with that, I wrote five steps that I think could possibly help with getting your habits under control that you could implement. You can change the order of the steps around. You could even add or subtract steps, but these are five steps that I think have helped me a ton.

Speaker 1: 14:00

Number one is realizing that you have a problem in the first place, because I went years without saying that I was a drug addict or an alcoholic or that I needed help. I was always trying to outsmart myself in my head to say, oh no, we can figure it out, we can moderate, or it's not as bad as you're making it out to be right, and it only got worse. So finally taking the step to realize this is a bad habit, I need to do something about it, that was the first step for me that really helped. Number two come up with a plan. If you've got a lot of bad habits that you wanna take out, don't try and do them all at once. Get a plan in place to get the ones out of the way that are affecting you the most and then deal with the other ones. But definitely write something out, keep a note in your phone or computer or something, but just come up with a plan, a wellness plan or something of goals that you wanna accomplish. So don't just go into wanting to better yourself with a bunch of energy you don't know where to direct, because then you're gonna crash and burn and get discouraged. Number three is talk with people who have done something similar, who have gotten rid of a similar habit or something that is relatable to what you're trying to do, so you can pick their brain and ask how they did it and stuff like that, because it ain't easy and sometimes we need another person's perspective in order to steer us in the right direction. So definitely hit some other people up to get their perspective on it.

Speaker 1: 15:35

Number four and I can't stress this enough hire a professional. And this could possibly come at step number two, which, now that I'm thinking about it, yeah, hire a professional is actually my step number two, and then he helped with three and four. For me, I understand, like money's tight for a lot of people and even if you're not gonna go all year all the time, like, definitely hire somebody who is going to professionally point you in the right direction. Like having somebody's outside advice who's done something similar to you is awesome, is great, but hiring somebody who is actually trained to get you on the right path is a completely different story. If you wanna hire a nutritionist, psychiatrist, psychologist, life coach, an exercise coach like, whatever the case may be, just hire somebody. Or God, I can't stress that enough, cause I wouldn't be the fucking person I am if I didn't have hired professionals helping me. You know, and, yeah, definitely, seek some professional help.

Speaker 1: 16:44

And number five do not get discouraged. If you fail, if you have a setback, don't get down on yourself for that. I'm gonna talk a little bit about this last step because it has happened to me before. But just trying to tell everybody to stay positive out there, you know you're not gonna fix all your problems in one night or one week or that matter, or even one month. You know, just, ease up. You know, I try and tell myself that all the time, cause I'm my worst critic, actually to the point where it's de-habilitating and it ruins my life almost with how hard I am on myself, you know. So, just telling everybody out there to ease up on yourself. I think somebody on a clip I saw on Arielle they said be gentle with yourself. You know, and try and like, tell myself that on a daily or weekly basis when I see myself getting a little out of hand with how I'm treating myself or talking to myself, and it's just, you know, ease up, be gentle with yourself. So those are the five steps that I think could definitely help with your habits.

Speaker 1: 17:52

But I wanted to talk a little bit more about those five steps and, honestly, for the higher professional thing, like I've had Trained therapists come on here and I've had people talk about the the wonders of therapy, and I've talked about the wonders of therapy and I need to practice what I preach a little bit more. So I'm letting people know that, hell, I've reached a couple snags in my life in the last six months, seven months, that I am not able to do alone. So I have been and actively seeking a new therapist, a route for that, you know, because, yeah, I just can't do it alone. You know, we think that we can Do it alone and, lo and behold, I don't. I don't think we can, you know. You know it's a very vulnerable moment, but whether it's gonna be a mentor or Fuck, even opening up to somebody close to you, you know being being vulnerable is Not talked about enough, and I know it's. It's coming out a little bit more on social media or or how we talk about men in general, because, you know, as men we've been raised to bottle our emotions up and Be manly, man, man, man, man, man all the time, and you know we don't have to talk about all the issues that come along with that, but Definitely being able to open up is going to help you out a lot more than you think. And I really wish that my past self could be watching this video right now and I could just tell them to don't be afraid of opening up, especially do a professional. Just let them know what the fuck's going on so they can help you out, you know, and so you can start learning to love and forgive yourself, because it's it's a journey, you know, with the the last step to not being so hard on yourself.

Speaker 1: 19:51

I was very hard on myself, for I would consider it relapsing for sure, full-blown relapse on tobacco, video games and sugar and pornography a Few things that I had under wraps. I had finally gotten under wraps. I was in this Weird stasis last year before my childhood cat passed away and it, you know, a lot of things happened and I Relapsed on those bad habits. Now I'm still sober to this day from drugs and alcohol and I'll always be proud and thankful for that. So when I say relapse, I'm definitely just talking about Bad wellness practices, but they're dangerous nonetheless.

Speaker 1: 20:41

You know, if you get addicted to sugar, screen time, pornography and Tobacco, and then you're addicted to pain, you're addicted to shame, you're addicted to digging a deeper hole, like it is a very vicious cycle and For an addict, you know you get addicted to pretty much anything. You know you get addicted to pleasure and all these other things that you're taking how you're gonna get addicted to the pain that comes with it. You know. So that was really.

Speaker 1: 21:09

That was really tough for me and I've been very hard on myself, as most of you have known. I've talked about how I haven't been super consistent with the podcast that I've really wanted to be, and you have just been getting down to myself. Haven't been working on writing or my book as much as I'd Like to have said in the past year, which is also why Leads back to the other step about hiring a professional. So I'm laying it all out and bear with. You know, my fans and People who aren't even my fans that just might come across this video that if you need some help, you got to seek that shit out. And yeah, don't be afraid of being vulnerable, you know, cuz it just piles up and if you think you're not gonna dig a deeper hole, if you think like I'm gonna get out of it, you know I'm gonna, I'll get around to it. You know, that's true, you will, but you don't have to go as deep as you think. You know, I've always thought, yes, yeah, you don't have to go as deep in the misery as you think you do.

Speaker 1: 22:17

And Growing up and you know, you know with anime and Just who I am, how I view things and one of my, my favorite philosopher, frederick Nietzsche, the whole what doesn't kill you, make you stronger, quote I always thought, like all the more shit that I go through, the stronger I'm gonna become, which is not False, it is true. But if you continuously make decisions in Pain and shame and pleasure and guilt, if you continuously make the same Choices that you've already made, those choices, you've already been blessed with the opportunity to learn from those, but you continue to do them and I'd always thought there's something more. I got to learn, you know right, and it only ended up hurting me. And in my sobriety and Recovery, I'd like to say there's a difference between the two. I've I've learned to take that step back, you know, and it's, it's not, it's not easy. It's not. I know. Whatever said it was gonna be fucking easy. You know, I spent eight years fucking my life up. It sure as hell ain't gonna fix it in one month, you know. So Shit. Yeah, don't get down on yourself trying to tell myself this, so maybe I can watch it and listen to it, you know. So that was kind of my spiel for the day. I was actually gonna read something. I forgot it at home. I am, I apologize. I have been writing a lot more lately, so next time I will be doing a little bit of a reading for all of you out there who enjoy my writing or my poetry and stuff like that. So I do have that coming up.

Speaker 1: 24:09

I didn't want to talk about my habits. Leading up to this. We talked about the holidays. We talked about a few things, I think, on how we should view the holidays, we talked about habits and now we're just gonna give a little update on some of the shit that I've been doing. I've been listening to and reading a lot of philosophy. Again, I've been writing a lot more in the last month than I have been in the previous months leading up to that.

Speaker 1: 24:40

Ever since I quit smoking. My physical wellness has been immaculate I'd like to say not perfect, but it's been great. I feel like I'm in the pretty much in the best shape of my life in terms of tone, endurance and stuff and the things that I'm eating, so I'm very happy with that. I have been playing a lot of Stardew Valley shout out to concerned Ape or Stardew Valley. Y'all know I love video games and it is just a really nice way for me to wind down or get centered is when I get to play strategy video games. Everybody's got their thing. So I have been doing a lot of that. A lot of plans for the podcast coming up in 2024. I've got a bunch of amazing guests planned and I'm so excited for everybody to hear those episodes. But I'm not gonna drop any names just yet. I'm pretty much just gonna surprise the fuck out of you guys with that.

Speaker 1: 25:45

So it was really nice speaking on the through the glass recovery the one I mentioned earlier in the episode with Steve and Julie who are coaches and sobriety advocates, and they run a recovery podcast almost like a panel. They also host a Zoom call on Mondays. It's almost like a sober meeting that you can show up to on Zoom with a bunch of other sober people. It's Monday nights, I think it's seven o'clock, I'm not sure if it's central or eastern, but I'm pretty sure you can find them online at throughtheglassrecoverycom. You can find them on Instagram too, so it was really great speaking on their podcast, just talking about sobriety and recovery.

Speaker 1: 26:36

It revitalized me. I like these moments where I get revitalized. I've told you about my buddy, brandon coming on Revitalized me. You know, having Aiden here, it's just really nice to have that vigor and that change of perspective, because it's super easy to get down. It's super easy to be hard on myself. Fuck all that. You know I say that now because I'm trying to get out of it, but I hope you understand that too, that you do have the ability to find these things in life. That will revitalize you, that will change your perspective.

Speaker 1: 27:12

There are ways to be grateful for the life that you live. You do not need to be ashamed of the mistakes that you have made. Everybody deserves forgiveness, no matter how fucked up the shit is. And you know I'm not perfect and I'm sure as fuck not God. You know I'm not here to judge anybody, but I feel like the world needs a lot more love and forgiveness than is out there right now. So hopefully, by doing this podcast, I can inspire not only myself but all you other beautiful souls out there to.

Speaker 1: 27:49

You know, live your best life, feel free. You know, be authentic, chase your dreams, live, live, live. Live a healthy life. Do not expect a healthy life to just fall into your laps. It's not how it works. You know, we have the tools in the year 2023, almost 2024. We have the tools necessary in order to make these amazing changes to our life. You know, and don't get discouraged if you trip up a little bit. You know, and my four and a half years on this recovery journey, I slip up all the motherfucking time, you know. But just smiling through that, getting back up, listening to what people have to say when they want to pump you up, when they want to talk about how amazing you are, take that to heart, and the holiday season is the perfect time to do that. All the love and forgiveness and gratitude that you could ask for is coming up in the next week or two, so don't miss out on that. Really appreciate everybody coming out today to listen to the Feel Free podcast. I'm John Sarone and, yeah, stay up, feel free.