Jon Cerone: Finding Relaxation During Busy Schedules

Jon Cerone does a solo podcast to give updates on the future of FEEL FREE while also touching on topics like apathy and the need for relaxation and vacation.

Transcript

Jon: 0:06

Yoyo, welcome back to Feel Free. The only podcast that'll tell you to chase dreams call you out and all You're freaking bullshit. Yeah, I'm back and I'm back and I'm bad. Nah, I'm just kidding. It's probably the same old bull. Really appreciate everybody tuning in. Sorry for the long wait. I've been gone for a minute out of the country enjoying myself today. Uh, we do not have a guest today. Today. I'm really just doing this by myself. For those that don't really enjoy the Solo John Cerrone podcast, now you might just have to skip this one. For those that do enjoy. Little weirdness. That is myself. Stay tuned cuz I got a whole freaking episode planned for ya. One of the things I really wanted to do today was give everybody some updates on the Feel Free podcast. I will be changing to a biweekly format. Uh, that means there's only gonna be two episodes coming out each month from now on. Instead of me trying to pump out an episode a week. And some of you may be asking, well, John, there were some weeks that you missed. Y yeah, there were, and there were some weeks that I would crank some out. Um, it's just been very, uh, jam-packed schedule over here for myself, and I'm actually gonna get into some of the reasons why I'm changing to a biweekly format a little later in the episode. Wanted to do a little heads up that I do have a couple really awesome guests coming on. Um, going to have somebody named Lydia on, she's a stress and overwork coach overseas in Europe. I think it's Amsterdam. You can follow her on Instagram. That's Serenity Coach Lydia. You can follow her on Instagram to see what she's all about. I'm gonna have her on, she's gonna talk about what she does. Also, gonna have my buddy Munk back on. He's gonna be talking about the new album that's coming out, maybe a couple of singles, his changing his really healthy lifestyle and just, you know, staying sober and good and all that other stuff. Then I got my buddy Todd Renbaum. I'm gonna be scheduling a meeting with him, the host of the Bunny Hugs podcast after I did a little guest speak on his, I'm definitely gonna have him on mine. Looking forward to that. The reason why things are a little jam-packed for me, and also d dates aren't set in stone, I should say. I am in the process of moving to some office space that I am renting out. So I, I go on vacation for eight days into the Caribbean. Literally come back to having to move my apartment, uh, our apartment somewhere else, and then also moving the entire podcast operation to some office space. So once that is all done and settled, I will definitely have a better grasp on what I'm going to be able to accomplish for all of my guests, better plans and better dates. So really appreciate everyone being patient with me in that aspect. Now, today is something very important to me. Because I have been feeling a certain type of way. I have this podcast here because I'm here to call myself out on my bullshit as much as I'd like to call the world out on there. Bullshit as well in order to help free, not just myself, but ourselves from our own vices, doubts, negative thoughts and feelings and all of that other good stuff. So I have had some trouble with dealing with apathy. Apathy. Apathy, apathy, apathy or being apathetic is the lack of interest, enthusiasm, or concern clinically or clinical apathy could be a sign of depression or substance abuse, and because the ladder is probably out of the question, you might guess that the former has reared its ugly head into my life yet again. Now, there are a lot of reasons why I have been so apathetic. And to, to say that I've been apathetic is actually one of the reasons why I will be changing to a biweekly format. Not the main reason, but one of them. So for those of you that know, I do bookkeeping for a living. I run a bookkeeping business with my mother. I also help my father's side of the family out with his tuxedo rental business when I can. Uh, so it's pretty busy for me. Uh, the bookkeeping gets a little busier around tax season time, as you all may guess, and this tax season was and is extremely all consuming, mentally frustrating and draining. And yeah, so that really hasn't given me any amount of energy, physically, mentally, emotionally, or creatively whatsoever. Another reason that I've been extremely apathetic, um, researching marketing and social media strategies, watching videos, reading articles, it actually bores me to the point of not even wanting to continue trying to put myself out there. It, it's pretty much the bait of my existence, but as you have all known, I am very. Persistent at telling people how much I completely despise social media. Not really, well technology in general, not all of technology, but definitely marketing and social media. It's definitely a, uh, a thorn to my side. But we hit these bumps in these roads in order to remind us of our true potential. So I won't be giving up on it. It is it that is draining. If work has been draining to me, then, you know, looking into. Social media and marketing is also another reason I am drained. Another reason, uh, you know, obviously everybody knows about the whole cat situation. You know, trying to cure him of his f i p that was an extremely stressful situation. We have finished the last shot four, uh, little Lou Lubert, Maximus III Lucifer. That is, uh, he goes by many names. Uh, many aliases. And so we finished that, so that's not too stressful anymore, but a lot of these reasons have, uh, spiraled me into a very apathetic lifestyle. I have not really found any concern or enthusiasm for doing anything. Not even writing for that matter, dancing free, styling, nothing. Not even wanting to even do podcast episodes or pretty much anything. And I feel like I'm gonna need to be honest with everybody. What the fuck's the point of having a podcast if I can't do this? You know? And I didn't have anybody here to talk about this with, because I've been slacking all week. I'm actually just recording this right now, Friday morning, because I told all my fans that I was coming out with an episode this Friday. After I got back from my vacation and I was gonna bitch out, I was gonna do it. But I woke up today and I said, I'm gonna fucking do this. So I did it right. Um, another reason I've been feeling so apathetic is, like I said, I don't have a lot of concern for things and I've lost a lot of interest in everything. I feel like I'm going through the motions a lot and from the things I just named, you know, whether it's work or, you know, trying to make the podcast better, my, you know, Handicapped, sickly needed cat. Um, another reason I've found that I haven't been too excited about anything is my lack of hobbies and routines. And, you know, I stopped trying to learn Japanese and stopped trying to learn guitar last year cuz I just got too overwhelmed with two jobs in the podcast. And then, um, You know, getting, getting another new cat or losing another cat, however you want to view it. So I stopped doing a lot of, uh, hobbies. That meant a lot to me and I stopped reading philosophy. Now I did switch over to reading fantasy novels, but I think reading philosophy has a, a big impact on my perspective on life, cuz I enjoy it and it also helps my writing. I don't have any hobbies other than basketball and video games right now that I look forward to, and I know that learning Japanese and, and guitar and working on music and free styling and and writing, those are very important to my mental health, and I need to start doing those again. Otherwise, everything I just name is pretty much a reason why I've been so apathetic. I've just been absolutely done with everything, um, everything, everyone, all of it. And you know, it's not healthy. So, and I've, I've known this, it's been brewing for a while. This is probably just the first time I'm saying it out loud and I'm saying it to you. So I appreciate y'all listening to that. Um, one of the reasons why I wanted to move, the main reason why I wanted to move to a biweekly format, Is because I would like to write more and everybody may go, well, John, you can, you could still do that and pump out a couple podcast episodes a month. And it is, I'm going to say it is very difficult podcasting, finding guests and topics and outlines and questions. There, there is a level of improv to it, which. Which is creative. It's fun, don't get me wrong, but it's not writing to me. It's not that type of creativity to me, and I know everybody. Everybody that is a fan of this, I, I shouldn't even, well, I'm gonna say this. I enjoy writing more than I do podcasting. I actually started podcasting in order to create a platform for my writing. And until the day I can write and podcast full-time without a normal nine to five, I will just have to sacrifice something and it's probably going to. You know, the podcasting. Now, I'm not done with Feel free. Like I said, I'll move to a biweekly format, but it, it just doesn't make me. Whenever I'm too worried about the episodes and everything I just named, it doesn't make me wanna write. I don't wanna write poetry, I don't want to write philosophy. I don't want to work on my other book. That was also, you know, one of the reasons I'd like to start working on my second book. And if I'm trying to do an episode a week, there's just, there's absolutely no time for me to write another book on top of that. And I would really like to have the next book out by the end of this. So, you know, I need to, I need to start focusing on that, right? So too much work has caused me not to write, and I haven't worked on any music either. As you know, I'm an amateur rapper, dancer, and Glover, and all of these things have just led to a sign of disaster. And it's fucked up because I need to start telling myself that, you know, I'm more than just an author and a podcast host. I'm, I'm an artist too, and I think I need to start giving energy to that art I in me, you know, I, I don't need to just be some personality you guys see on, on Instagram or hear through your speakers, like, I still have to attend to my own human needs. Yo, yo. We're taking a quick break so I could tell you all about a really awesome podcast called Bunny Hugs and Mental Health Run by my man, Todd Reba. Bunny hugs and mental health deals with all things mental health, from addiction, anxiety, and eating disorders to borderline personality disorders, schizophrenia and trauma. He talks to professionals, survivors, and loved ones about their sometimes informative, sometimes uplifting, and sometimes tragic stories. Definitely give my man a follow on Instagram that's Bunny Hugs podcast and tune in for some awesome, informative episodes. Now, you may be asking, you may be saying, well, John, you went on a vacation for eight days. Don't you think that would've cured some of your apathy? And it should have? It did help a little bit. But it didn't cure the problem. But I will say that I was slacking on going on vacation. I haven't been on a week long vacation in nearly 13 years, probably since the last time I went on a cruise with my family when I was 17. All the other times were either trips that I went places to visit, friends and family. Or went on camping trips. You know, I had not taken seven to eight days completely off of work to go on some sort of vacation, and I really needed that. And it did bless me in more ways than you know, and I actually wanted to talk about that today. If the first part of this episode was some updates on me, and then also the apathy, I'm. Through right now. We are going to end this on a positive note and that positive note is understanding that we need to go on vacation sometimes and relax so, The vacation was great. We went to the Caribbean. We went to an island called St. Vincent, which is pretty much off the coast of South America. Yeah. And it's real far down there near Barbados. And Lisa's father is from the island. So it was eight days of quality time with. The love of my life and her family, and it was just a beautiful, beautiful thing. Uh, Lisa's sister, Molly also got engaged. That was such a touching moment. I actually started tearing up. I don't think anybody there knows that I did, but I did because it's freaking touching. Um, So it was a, it was a good time with loved ones. Like I said, it was the first time in 13 years I went on vacation. It wasn't an all-inclusive resort, but the hotel we stayed at, you know, beautiful balcony, beautiful views. Uh, they had a restaurant and a pool that sat right on the beachfront. Could literally hear the waves while you're eating breakfast, lunch, and. I was known to get a piece of cheesecake every night after dinner. Shit was slapping. They actually made, they actually like asked me towards the end, after I'd finished my dinner, they'd look at me and they'd ask, oh, are we putting the order in for the cheesecake? And I'm like, hell yeah. So, yeah, I had a piece of cheesecake every night that was nice. Got to sample some of the local food, the roti, which is almost like a, uh, Caribbean burrito. It's, uh, curry potatoes and meat dish. And then also Palau, which is, uh, chicken and the way they cook their rice, which was also really good. Uh, different types of, what is it? Red paste buns. Red, red buns. I don't know. There's a lot of coconut in it though. That was really, Another accomplishment, I'd like to say that happened on vacation. I read an entire book in one week. If I had, uh, the sound effect for applause, I would've put it in there, cuz that's fucking crazy to me. I've never read anything that fast before in my life. It was one of the Witcher books. I just sat down and cranked it out. So that, if that doesn't tell you how, how the week went, you know, other than seeing the island and, and hanging out with loved ones and stuff, I was, I was relaxing. There was one day last Thursday, I think, I got down to the cabana around eight 30 and I didn't leave until five. I was in that chair. I was fucking chilling. Uh, I taught everybody the game of, uh, 500 rummy, which isn't like gin rummy cuz you play the cards down. But everybody loved it. The card games were good. Uh, yeah, it was just a good time. I was getting fruit smoothies. Obviously you guys know I don't drink, so I was really on this cheesecake and fruit smoothie grind the last week, and boy did I feel it when I got in the gym this week. I'll tell you what, I actually went to hoop the other day. And I just got smoked by this 19 year old. He just dusted me and I was not moving fast at all. Normally we go tip for tat, like you know, on our one-on-one games, but he just blew past me and I was like, damn, I just don't have it, you know? Another reason why the vacation was really nice was I did, we did get a break from Lou and work, and that was, you know, obviously that was nice. I love, we love the cat to death, but it was very, it was a very high maintenance situation, so getting away from that was, uh, necessary. Another thing that was cool was, you know, obviously playing Pokemon on the switch, getting Lisa into Pokemon too. She's actually nearing completion of Pokemon Legends. Rcs probably the first video game she's ever played or going to beat. So that's, that's a cool bonding experience too. Uh, the thing I wanted to, you know, point out was, damn, I just gotta plan more vacations and. I had been so hesitant, you know, cuz it's money and to me, I have saved money and I have put money into my music career, my podcast, my author career. So spending large sums of money on things like vacation or like normal people do, like clothes and cars and other things like that. I've been very hesitant to do stuff like that because I feel like it would set me back. From achieving my goals and maybe for some of the materialistic things I laid out, that is true, but I have to realize that, you know, it's necessary to, to plan vacations like that. So in lieu of that, we will be planning, uh, a Caribbean cruise in February of 2025 with, uh, my mom's side of the family. So that's cool. And later that year, Lisa and I, Hopefully be heading to Japan for two weeks, so, so I can en enjoy, um, my wee boo or, you know, just being a complete freaking nerd over there. So that's awesome. Yeah, I think the coming to terms with the need for relaxation is, is, uh, tantamount and also my hobbies as well, so. I don't really want to like ramble on, but I'm probably just gonna ramble on. If you don't like the rest of the episode, you could probably just cut it here. It's like 20 minutes long, so it wasn't gonna be a long episode today. I apologize for anybody that was coming here for something like that. I just just haven't gotten around to plan something. You know? This is more just like me venting kind of what I've been going through. Hopefully you can relate to it. It's been a pretty brutal. Here, and I've heard that from multiple people here in the Chicago land area and it, it might be that across the country, even in, you know, warm places. But these last couple months have been fairly difficult, whether we're dealing with inflation or just not having any money or just overwhelmed by work and just life events that are happening. Just wanted to let everybody know that we are. Going to get through it. So we have to stay positive as pessimistic and cynical as I, uh, sometimes can be. I would also like to think that when the pendulum does swing, I can be a pretty positive guy. So we definitely have to keep our heads up in that. Respect. If you're feeling a little overwhelmed, do yourself a favor and plan yourself a nice vacation. Doesn't matter how cheap it is. I don't care if you gotta drive to where you're going. Don't always think you need to fly somewhere tropical in order to have a vacation. Maybe just drive. You know, to a different state. Find an Airbnb in a, in a place that you want to visit. Maybe some place that has really cool trails or nature or some cool shops or, uh, you know, I don't, I don't care. Just, just get the hell outta here. You know? Go do yourself a favor. It'll, it'll be worth it, I promise. And to anybody who might be dealing with apathy. I sincerely hope that you do seek out help because I'm actually hitting, I'm actually going to see my therapist again after doing an episode about therapy a couple weeks ago with my friend. Now it's time for me to call myself out on bullshit and practice what I preach. So I'll be going back to see my, my therapist to talk about some of the issues that I've been going through, uh, because to be transparent with ourselves. You know, such an important thing that, you know, sometimes we, we all like to merit, wear a mask, even in the mirror looking at ourselves and viewing ourselves and that's not healthy. So, you know, definitely go out there and seek professional help if you need somebody to talk to also. So, yeah, the apathy's been fucking me up. I know I'm kind of switching back to that, but it's, it's been on my mind for a long time and I haven't been smoking cigars. Um, for over a month now, so that's, that's cool. I am a little injured for basketball too. I have bursitis on my knee, which kind of sucks, uh, which I have to go get figured out. Um, so there's just a coup, like I've named off a lot of things that are swirling around me right now that have just kind of been beating me down and it's almost made me totally emotionally drained for even dealing with anything. Right? And it's doesn't seem like hopeless. It's just like, what a pain, you know, to deal with. It's actually causing. Now what's a, one of the seven deadly sins is sloth. You know, sometimes I, I definitely go through periods where I am, I am filled with with that. And I think I gotta start reintroducing those hobbies to my lifestyle and start, you know, changing my perspective, you know, cuz I don't really view the apathy as like a negative emotion, you know? Like pessimism is negative. Apathy is just, to me like a lack of emotion. Like I'm not even like angry or sad about anything. It's just like overwhelming to the point where I'm almost numb, you know? And these are things that I have to deal with. So I am probably gonna sign off. I really appreciate everybody coming to listen to me, you know, vent about my silly little life and my vacation in apathy for 20 something minutes. If you haven't already, give me a like follow and subscribe on all your favorite listening, viewing looking platforms, and feel free, we'll be back in two weeks with a. More planned out and structured episodes, so stay tuned. Stay up, feel free.